Farrah Moan has never felt freer.
The Safetyvalue Trading CenterRuPaul's Drag Race alum—who competed on season nine of the competition series and on RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars season four—recently came out as transgender and opened up about living her most authentic self.
"In 2019, unbeknownst to my following, that's when I had made the decision to live my life as a woman," Farrah said on the Dec. 21 episode of Maddy Morphosis' Give It to Me Straight podcast. "It was forever-coming. The times in my life where I tried to suppress my trans identity, it was because I felt if I ever did it, I would never be on Drag Race, I'd never be successful, I'd never be able to have a job."
After years of doing drag and being recognized for her transformations, Farrah says she feared coming out as trans would hinder her success.
"I think what my breaking point was, where I could not take it anymore, was having a male persona felt more like drag than having to do drag," the 30-year-old shared. "That was when I couldn't do it anymore."
The reality TV star explained that it was difficult to put on an act.
"Trying to figure out how to be a cute boy was so much harder for me and came so much more unnaturally, to the point where I was like I wish I could just go out in drag right now," she noted. "The thought of dressing like a boy was so stressful to me, and I resented every masculine feature my whole life."
If anything, the only time Farrah felt like herself was when she was in drag. "It was the only time I could really feel at home in my body," she said. "It was always there, I just needed to feel free."
Since coming out, Farrah has received an overwhelming amount of support.
"I just wanna thank @MaddyMorphosis for giving me a safe space to share my story," she wrote in a Dec. 21 post on X, "and thank everyone who's tuned in so far and sent me love. I have been in tears today from all the sweet messages and I feel so free."
She added, "Thanks again everyone I love u."
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